The Dare's Affairs: Forbidden Fruit (WARNING:Adult Content)

Sometimes, our garden has a mind of it's own. Below are some of it's creations. I have to warn you that it is for adult eyes only!! X-Rated content.....

"Moments"

1-13:Dad:You know what sounds good for dinner? Mussels.

Mollie:Check out THESE muscles! (while flexing)

Dad:I didn't mean those kind of mussels...

Mollie:I know, but it reminded me of these guys :)

12-12:Mollie:My teacher had a "nouncement".

Mom:You mean an "announcement"?

Mollie:No, a "nouncement".

12-12:All 3 girls singing..."Good tithings we pay, to you and to him"

11-12:Carli:We need to be ready "this very night."

Mom:"This very night", huh?

Carli:Yeah, you know...tonight. If you don't know that then you can NEVER be a princess!

11-12:Mollie:"Ouch, I'm having a brain sneeze!"

Mom:"You mean a brain freeze?"

Mollie:"No, a brain sneeze...it hurts cause your brain has to sneeze but it can't, because its a brain"

10-12:Regan:"I REALLY like Halloween! Except I don't like being scared, I don't like scary costumes, and I don't really like pumpkins. I guess I DON'T like Halloween...just the candy."

9-12:Mollie:"Mom, did you know it is really hard to brush your teeth with roller blades on? It is."

6-12:Regan:"My favorite part of camping is the SNORES!"

6-12:Mollie:"A tornado is the most dangerous creature in the world!"

6-12:Mollie:[*Hic-cup*] I must have the "hickedy-ups"

Regan:It's not called "hickedy-ups" Mollie, you got it all wrong...it's called "hickem-ups"

5-12:Carli:"You're just making excuses!"

Regan:"NO! I'm not, because I don't even know what that means!"

4-12:Carli:"Do you smell that? Somebody's smokin their weed!"

Mom:"Um, what!?"

Carli:"Look! Somebody's smokin their weeds!" (Pointing to the smoke from people burning the weeds in the ditches)

Mom:"Yes. Yes they are." :)

3-12:(Carli saw a truck drive next to us that had a bike hooked to it. The bike brand was "SPECIALIZED", which is the same brand Carli and Regan ride.)

Carli:"Hey! I have a SPECIALIZED!"

Regan:"Me too! I have a SPECIALIZED!"

Mollie:"Me too!"

Mom:"Actually, you don't Mollie, not yet."

Mollie:"Yes sir...I have special eyes!"

3-12:Regan:"Its so cold. I think I have frostbite."

Mom:"Its cold but you're okay. You don't have frostbite."

Regan:"Yeah, I do. I can't feel...[pause] LOTS of things!"

3-12:Mollie:"I joined a new club...the 'I ate something gross today' club."

Mom:"Oh yeah? What'd you eat?"

Mollie:"I don't know, but I eat something gross EVERY day!"

3-12:Mollie:"Mom, I finally got a 'stop sign' taped on my bunk bed. For the ladder."

Mom:"A stop sign? Okay."

Mollie:"Yep. I've always wanted one. I've been planning it for years!"

2-12:Carli:"If you make a big mess, you need to clean it up. Get toilet paper, paper towel, clorox wipe...something."

Mollie:(With a british accent)"Yes, your MAJESTY!"

2-12:Regan (who just lost her 3rd front tooth) "Look at me smile....I look like a freak!"

2-12:Mollie:"We are going to be late! It's 90 o'clock!"

2-12:Carli:"Dad, you need a 'BROmance'."

Dad:"Um, no thanks."

1-12:Mom:"You are the big winner!"

Mollie:"Of course I am. I'm the rockstar!"

1-12: I was dancing to some music in the kitchen while I was making dinner (I'm a dork, don't laugh) Mollie was watching me and told me, "Oooo, I like your moves!"

1-12:(Mollie and friend talking @ HOME ALONE)

Mollie:This movie has a bad word, so don't say it.

Friend:OK

Mollie:Wanna know what it is?

Friend:What is it?

Mollie:Can't tell you, its a bad word.

12-11:Regan: (sniff, sniff)....it stinks like Christmas!

9-11:Regan:"Why am I so funny? Was I just born this way? I think so."

9-11:Mollie:"Is Layla sick?"

Mom:"I don't think so...why?"

Mollie:"I felt her nose and it wasn't wet."

Mom:"Was it hot or cold?"

Mollie:"In the middle...I licked it for her so it would be wet!"

8-11:Mollie:"I know I'm getting bigger because I think I have a boob crack!"

6-11:Mollie:"Arrr...I'm a matey!"

5-11:Regan:"When I grow up I want to be just like Dad...only I want to smell better."

4-11:Mom:"You're like a fly. You eat poop and bother people."
Mollie:"No, I don't eat poop...anymore!"

3-11:Mom:"Your room is such a mess I can't even walk in here."
Mollie:"I can....my feet are smaller than yours."

1-11: Regan:"No burping & no farting starting now, wait....{toot} ...now."

12-11: Mom:"Just promise me you won't act like that when you're older."
Carli:"I can't promise you that mom, I'm just a kid."

11-10: Regan:"You are darling."
Mollie:"Yeah, and I'm funny too."

10-10: Carli:"You are askin' for the bruisin'!"

8-10: Mom (while washing wall)"You did a number on this wall!"
Mollie:"Not numbers mom, just colors"

6-10: Mom:"Hello!"
Mollie:"Your breath stinks."
Mom:"Good morning to you too."
Mollie:"I didn't say good morning, I said your breath stinks."

6-10: Regan:"We can say "fart", it's spanish for "toot".

5-10: Layla (our dog) had a chick cornered in the yard. We were afraid she was going to eat it. The girls were worried. Once safely back in the coop, the girls said, "Layla thought the chick tasted like chicken!"

4-10: Mom:"Hurry up slowpoke"
Mollie:"I'm not a slowpoke, I'm a fastpoke"

4-10: Mollie (while it's hailing) "Look, it's raining balls!"

3-10: Mollie:"Here Mom, fetch!"

3-10: Mom:"Your room is the biggest mess."
Mollie:"I know, the leprechauns did it"

2-10: Regan:"I'm going to be the BEST mom! Know why? Because I know that kids like to watch TV all day"

10-09: Mom:"Regan, you have some yucky boogers."
Regan:"Let me get them, I'm a great booger puller."

10-09: Mom:"Regan, your toots STINK! You have got to stop!" Regan:"I can't. My bum won't let me."

9-09: Regan:"I know how to spell your name mom. F-A-G."

9-09: Regan:"Mollie, you are so cute, don't ever grow up."
Mollie:"Okay I won't. Oops! I just did!"

9-09: Regan:"I know how many pounds you are, 80 cents!"

9-09: Regan watching a male dog going to the restroom:"That puppy has a broken leg, I just saw it lift it."

9-09: Regan describing a pencil sharpener:"You put the thing in it and it peels the skin off."

8-09: Regan:"I'm so smart, I know everything I know!"

8-09: Carli:What if a boy came up to me and said "Ooo, she's hot!" (and so it begins!!)

7-09: Regan: "Is it fast Sunday?"
Mom: "No."
Regan: "Oh, it's slow Sunday."

7-09: Mollie: "Layla's breasts stink...we need to brush her teeth."

7-09: Regan:"I have so many mosquito bites...I must taste like candy!"

6-09: Regan:"Mom, you're pretty."
Mom:"Thank you."
Regan:"I'm not done, you're pretty silly."

6-09: Mollie was crying. I asked her what happened and Regan answered:"She fell off her bike, well actually...I pushed her."

5-09: Mollie was mad at me about something...she told me, "Mom, you aren't invited to my birthday!"

5-09: Regan:"Why don't you let the rolly-poly bug go home?"
Mollie: "I'll let it go home after I kill it, okay?"

5-09: TV:"What letter are we looking for?"
Mollie (screaming):"I don't know!!"

5-09: Regan:It's sunny so we need to put on some "skunk-screen"

4-09: Regan:"Mom, do boogers bring strength to our bodies?"

3-09: Carli:"Mom, if you want someone to come over, just start vacuuming...someone always rings the doorbell when you vacuum."

3-09: Mollie watching the TV:"That's Obama...he steals our money!"

2-09: Mollie playing the animal guessing game:This animal has sharp "teets" (teeth)

2-09: Regan:If dinosaurs are "stinct", I bet they smell like poop.

1-09: Regan:What's up "homely"?

1-09: Mom:"Don't be a booger."
Mollie: "Why...they yummy!"

1-09: Mollie:I'm Santa...you a "HO".

The Dare's Affairs

Friday, August 14, 2009

Forbidden Fruit (WARNING:Adult Content)

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